the sign:

he clearly traveled

yes! same person

i can’t remember which comic said it, but it was a bit that went something like this:

so you’re saying the clippers have zero chance of winning that gs series?

yes they are, luis - and i would appreciate it if you kept your damn mouth shut!!!!

Burkman’s worst days as a carnival barker and human being came after Missouri linebacker Michael Sam came out as gay before the 2014 NFL Draft. Burkman went on a media blitz proposing that Congress act fast to make being a gay player illegal.

why do these two assholes remind me of the dickhead mortgage brokers from the big short?

shoulda been part of your vows

i sparked a silent one in bed one night that woke up my girlfriend just by smell. i call it the fart that ate santa monica

i just loved rob lowe’s look after he said it. 

what point comes after deuce?

how can a fancy dog masseuse have so much power?

duly noted

holy shit you ARE a real doctor!! 

not to make light of this at all - but it’s basically a problem with nerves in her ear that transmit to the brain, right? i’m not a doctor, but i did sleep in a dumpster outside of a holiday inn express last night.

kinda reminds me of something and someone:

not a pitch....just a pic

no video cause i’m ugly