I just want her to keep that creepily large tongue in her mouth. With the amount of flapping in the breeze it does I am surprised it has not dried up and rendered her incapable of speech, plus the entire sticking the tongue out thing is annoying. If this makes me a bodysnarker or a slutshamer, so be it.

Sorry, as someone who's worked a lot of high-end retail, I can tell you that it's NEVER okay to ignore someone who asked you a question so you can approach a customer that you think may have more disposable income. I'm not saying it doesn't happen a lot but I am saying it's not acceptable behavior.

Aw yeah, Mom! *high five back in time* I swear I heard that in the coolest Claire Huxtable cut-you-down voice ever.

I spent several years managing clothing stores when I was younger. Our women's sizes went up to 14. After doing it for a while, you get a pretty good eye for guessing people's sizes right away, not as a judgment but because when you are grabbing outfits for people different brands size differently. I cannot fathom…

Sales people can be ridiculous. My mom used to have to call the manager on salesgirls who felt comfortable saying that the item she was asking for was too expensive for her. "Do you have X?" "Yes, but it is really expensive." B/c you know, we are black, and we are all poor.

A store employee has no right to tell you where to shop based on your appearance. Oh, you're too ugly to shop here. Leave the store. I don't like your lips. Leave the store. As an employee of a store; you have to take into consideration that you have no idea why that person is shopping in your store. Maybe they're…

Aside from its magical qualities, that couch looks like it was recently unsealed from a lifetime of plastic covering.

• We've heard this story before. The last time, it wasn't true, and cost our country a lot of soldiers for reasons barely related to our national interest.

Ditto. Well, not on the getting more degrees part, but very much on not dealing with this shit. Especially because for women, the ultimate goal—marriage or a stable, long-term cohabitation—generally involves said woman becoming, at least to some degree, an unpaid maid, cook, and, if kids happen, nanny.

Good GOD, THIS. I am so tired of hearing, "you'll find him when you stop looking," "there are plenty of fish," etc. Tell you what: I'm not looking, and I hate fish. Leave me alone, and go enjoy your happiness.

I laugh at the people who have been in committed relationships for years and stare wistfully out the window while proclaiming that "they're a bit bored now and miss being single". Homey, I'll catch you up - YOU'RE NOT MISSING ANYTHING. Cling to your partner like grim fucking death.

Speaking of needing to chill out...

so as a male, would I be better off dancing and displaying my bright plumage or do ladies prefer an elaborate song to demonstrate my worth? please help, I need to mate (preferably before winter) and I've tried presentations of food and fighting with other males for attention and neither seems to work

You don't need a balance. Be you. YOU is awesome and comes naturally. I could give less than a shit if people think I'm cute. When I'm paid to be cute, I will be the cutest bitch in the world. Until that day, no fucks will be given and everyone else will just have to deal with why THEY feel upset, insecure,…

I was in a crap relationship for a couple years wherein the sex was also crap. Lousy sex + poor communication + passive-aggressive partner = crap relationship. In my experience, which is considerable (and I cringe to admit that), hookup sex sucks because you don't care about each other. So nobody cares if the woman…

As someone who's celibate and will most likely remain so, what I don't get the most is this whole thing that you NEED to have sex in order to survive. Between the MRA assbutts who claim it can literally kill people, to those who think that not having regular sex is somehow utterly terrible.

"You can live without sex but bad sex will make you crazy."

Yeah, screw those people. I was a "late bloomer" (even that term smacks of condescension) myself, and used to get that vibe from people all the time so I just started lying so people would get off my damn back when I was just trying to enjoy a nice round of 'Never Have I Ever'. Even now when I'm no virgin, I'm still…

Thank you. As someone who has had a fairly traumatic sexual past, coupled with an incurable STD and major body insecurities, I'm currently my closing out my 3rd year of celibacy. At first it wasn't intentional, but then I began looking at my sexual patterns and choices and decided I needed to change. I was choosing…