“With this, pop vulture criticism hits its absolute nadir”

I bet you listen to plenty of other music with the same lyrical content but, ok sure, you win the morality contest.

This story is udderly nuts. 

I feel the same way about flights as movie theater guy. I know they are cramped, the whole experience can be stressful, but there’s a certain euphoria I get when I’m buckled in, and have absolutely no control or obligations for the next x amount of hours. (save for not being an ass to other passengers.) I’ve been…

I look forward to Jeff Wilpon pointing to Cano’s contract as the reason they won’t be able to re-sign Syndergaard and Conforto in a few years. 

OW ME BACK

I too would like to have relationships with rich, morally corrupt individuals, who can help increase my wealth and clout, without having to justify it in those terms to the world. 

The difference being she’s getting paid while the passengers are paying for the experience of not getting to their destination on time.

We’re still doing this?

I have a serious question. Who are the 17+ million people who are watching this? I just don’t see the entertainment value in watching people fake incest and fight dragons and kill people at weddings for an hour or however long these things last.

There’s something different about him compared to most sprinters. He seems...scrappier? Like he really works hard to be as good as he is and doesn’t just coast on his talent.

“we’re going to rule the country”

I’m not here for her humanity, continue to be the stepford wife you were all too happy to let us know you were sis.

It's important to have limits on your empathy.  You wouldn't want to be too forgiving of someone accidentally.  

I feel like "sis" should be reserved for people whose humanity you acknowledge.

Nothing says “I’m a real man” like 18 paragraphs of whining under a picture of a bowl of mayonaise.

Me: Please. Aubrey Huff doesn’t have any fans.

It is literally his job

It was 100% the correct call. He impeded multiple horses swinging from the 2 position out to the 4 then back to the 1 and 2. It’s a DQ 100% of the time and it’s not even close. 

“If you’re already a fucking cynic about literally everything, you won’t like the thing other people like”

Saved you a few thousand words