All Amber's saying in that tweet is, "Don't judge me. The foundation of both your success and mine lies in sex work. Own it, because I have no problem doing so." It's the Kardashians who have always danced around and sought to distance themselves from the genesis of Kim's fame whereas Amber seems to have been more…

You calling her Amber Heard made this comment

I do want everyone to remember the real and biggest loser in all of this is Tyga, who spent his morning trying to convince people that he didn't leave his wife and son for a teen girl.

Whenever I see her name, I always think of that horrible interview that she did with Tyra Banks.

She was a willing participant in a photo shoot, yes. Which is her job, which it is totally okay to do, and I don't see why anyone would have issue with it. She was also a willing participant in showing what she showed, but it is far more likely she pulled her bottoms down at the photographer's suggestion, not because…

I could give a shit about the lowered bottoms thing but yeah, the uncanny valley is exactly what wigs me out too. Something about the tilt of her head and the shadows/lighting of her boobs. They look like they've been painted on.

So everyone, answer me this:

Did HANNAH DAVIS decide which photo ended up on the cover? Did she make that call? Or did she just, you know, show up, do her job, and then someone chose that photo?

Did HANNAH DAVIS think "Yeah, I think I'll pull my bathing suit down a little, that is an idea I am having personally" or was…

D'Angelo did it better.

Maybe I'm too liberal but I don't see the big deal. I wish parents were more honest and say that they're uncomfortable looking at half naked people and leave kids out of it. Kids for the most part don't give a shit about a lot of stuff parents worry about. How will this cover harm them?

I had a friend who was absolutely certain that his devoutly Catholic parents did not have premarital sex, he was just born very premature. His parents were married at the beginning of the same month he was born in. He was quite indignantly sure he was just a miracle baby who survived being born at 4 weeks gestation,…

I don't know if it's the biggest whopper, but it's definitely the most entertaining one.

Here's the biggest lie/deception that I ever perpetuated on my parents ...

I worked for a large corporation, and one of our senior executives got subpoenaed for a trial and just had a total meltdown. Refused to testify, begged us to get him out of testifying, etc. So we sat him down and told him to 'fess up, and he admitted he had been dating a woman in the company for two years , kept it…

My mom still thinks the tramp stamp I got 17 years ago is henna that I keep getting redone. You believe what you want to believe.

When I was 14 or 15, I participated in a summer live-in college prep program at the local university. There were, IIRC, 125 other high-school kids, along with a dozen or so staff and instructors. At the beginning of the program, they distributed a whole lot of paperwork that most people never read, including a list of…

This is a story which I was always deeply ashamed of, and have never told anyone except my fiancé. When I was in the fifth grade, my school had mandatory swimming lessons. I am a decent swimmer, grew up spending all summer in the lake, but I was always terrified of getting water up my nose. So swimming lessons went…

A buddy of mine and I went to a college football game against one of our school's bigger rivals our junior year. The game was out of hand the first half, when a torrential rain started. We looked at each other at halftime, said "we have to leave."

I was admitted to grad school in a city I had never visited before. All summer, I bugged the housing department mercilessly to get into graduate student housing, because I was afraid to try to find an apartment in an unfamiliar city by myself. Graduate housing was extremely limited. This involved a tremendous amount…

When I was in second grade, the coolest girl* in my class class asked me why I didn't have hair on my arms. I told her I shaved them, OBVIOUS LIE. She went home and did it and hoooooooollllllleeeee shit was I in trouble when her mom called my mom to "talk" about it. But she did it, she believed me. That counts, ya'll.

I was in my early 20's and seriously lacking in the judgment department. I spent the night at a friend's party drinking beer and getting high. Around 4am, I decided that I wanted to go home, and that I was sober enough to drive my car home the 3/4 of a mile to my house on residential roads. When I was at the final…