That's how I feel every time I pick up a shoe I think is cute and it's Jessica Simpson.

Cant wear these. Would forget I had them on and pick my nose.

That coat is SOOOO derelicte.

I had the best feuchting piece of chocolate cake the other day.

For a second I thought the bodies had been there undiscovered since the Captain Phillips incident. Was a bit surprised.

Someone should make a trap for the creepshot kind of guys. I don't know how to bait it, or what the end result will be, but it should be called To Catch a Redditor.

I beg to differ. "Moist" is really awful.

Is there a grosser word than "nubile?" I think not.

You're a sexual predator.

I'm with you sister, I love high waisted jeans! So. much. love. And tummy support.

Not if they fit.

Argh, you just made me google naked muffin top and the results were not pleasant.

Hmmm... perhaps it's caused by too small pants + a FUPA? (Fat Upper Pussy Area) - I just stepped over the line, didn't I?

you need to buy them in every color available and two in your favorite color before they go out of style again.

No more three inch gap between the waistband and my person when I sit down!

...Wait, so you attempted to return them with tags and in seven days, and they wouldn't take them? What in the hell kind of screwed up company is this?

You know who has the best workout clothes? TJ Maxx. You know who has the best outdoor/workout clothes, customer service and dividends at the end fo the year? REI.

MY JOB IS SHIT

I know this is super gross, but I wish it had been around when my digestive track shut down because all of my intestinal flora had been obliterated by all the courses antibiotics and steroids proceeding and following a challenging surgery.