I think it's the eyes. The way the lids are drawn, it's creepily-excited. The mouth is too big, but the eyes are the real problem. Why are they so high on the box? I liked the girl in pink and her side-eying assessment. And that one kid's human-eating comment makes me want to hang out with him, because I bet he's darn…

I want to delete my entire post and replace it with this.

Found on Twitter... (the mis-use of "betrothed" is really bothering me but the rest is spot-on)

I don't think so either. Unless..... Heaven underwent a rebranding; removed St. Peter from the pearly gates; hired a more "discerning" doorman; and then introduced a VIP section with Z-list celebrity D.J.s and full bottle service. Then, getting to Heaven would become trendy and "aspirational".

"Dear Lord, when I get to Heaven..."

"Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul?"

"Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?"

OH GOD.

As a lady who enjoys kissing ladies and also gentleman with beards, Ms. Wurst seems like my dream girl. I get the vapors just looking at her!

"The kids were absolutely ravenous," remarked an onlooker. "At one point they cut the throat of a raccoon and feasted on the blood while cooing "'sweet nectar.'" Another witness noted that blood-soaked copies of acclaimed hit Country Strong were found scattered around the restaurant.

"She opened her top and showed them her boobs, which Jennifer says were completely covered in 'the most beautiful angels and beautiful butterflies and baskets of flowers in pastel-colored tattoos.'"

Dolly, you are now, as ever, my idol.

People really talk about film stars. They see them at the cinema. Britons; they're (English speaking) people too!

10. Chrysler Sebring

As a final "fuck you" to the NBA, Sterling plans on dying tomorrow.

It's a homemade soup made of energy drinks and a heaping cup of stupid.

I'm actually totally down with this! Pinkberry did a line of savory Greek yogurt concoctions a while ago and they were DELICIOUS. My fav was tomato and basil wit balsamic.

It so is!

As an almost-lawyer, this is in no way legally enforceable. If nothing else, there are consumer protection laws/strict liability standards regarding certain chemicals (in extreme cases)/reasonable person standards that would make this patently absurd.