I'd buy that car!

If Elon Musk accidentally ran over Johnny Depp in a Tesla, I wouldn't cry.

She’s 24? Jesus, I remember when she was born.

You’re not the only person who doesn’t get hot for Lochte. I just think he exudes ‘asshole’ and that was before he peed all over a Brazilian gas station.

I don’t eat breakfast cereal much but if I see her on a box of Wheaties, they're going in my cart along with some milk.

A few years ago, my sister had a nice chat with Rachel Maddow while on a hike in the East Bay (SFO). For which I was, I am, and I will forever be jealous.

Goats are so freaking adorable. Every year for Christmas Mr. Dog gives me the ‘Goats in Trees’ calendar so I have pictures of happy climbing goats to cheer up my office.

I’m nowhere near as cute as that goat but could they serenade me? It's been a long day and that would be so very nice.

Reading your post made me think, for the millionth time, that ‘losing weight’ isn’t about ‘losing weight.’ It’s about practicing a different lifestyle than the one that made me (many of us) chubby. I’ve lost about 5 lbs this summer by focusing on habit change instead of diets. And that’s what makes it difficult - I’m…

Wait, Shaun White had a band?

I remember reading about that - in all the elections I’ve followed, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a poll figure quite like that one.

Try harder. Have you tried crawling through her bedroom window? Bring a scissors so she knows you’re sincere about your request.

BRING BACK DEFAMER NOW

JESUS. She sends them children?

I absolutely love Anne Holton.

Not all her moments are so adorable, believe me, but the Olympics have brought out a very lively streak in her. She is now calling Michael Phelps her ‘boyfriend.’

My mom has gotten quite sweet in her old age.

She also calls Trump ‘that orange ass.’

Whatever. They’re young, rich, good looking. May they have hours of absolutely *great* sex before the inevitable breakup.