I can crochet one of those out of yarn that won't crack & break en masse. Why won't somebody pay me a quarter mil for it?

Been there. After I got my illustrious degree and found that the entire country was short on jobs, I was a manager at a well known shoe store. When talking to a woman who hated me from the word go and I have no idea why. I wasn't rude or mean in any way. She was buying shoes for her son, she looked at me and said,…

One of my favorite retail stories involved this one woman with a horrible world-travel superiority complex. You know the type— those people who wear crisp, breezy linen clothes 365 days a year and smell like patchouli and wear VERY expensive jewelry?

We do what we have to, and if we're lucky, it's en route to what we want ...

Goddammit, this exactly. I didn't come in for much of this kind of putrid nonsense when I was working the jobs that tend to draw it out (gender and size have their privileges, as we know); I've seen more than I care to, and it is one of my least-favorite human behaviors not considered a felony. A few further points…

"If you had just gone to college ..."

Oh, FUCK YOU, lady. Fuck you so hard. Meanwhile Ellie Moore, you and I are BFF's now. It is decided.

The only time anyone ever dared to make a remark like this to me, I was working at Eddie Bauer on a morning shift. Some lady took umbrage to my (corporate mandated), "Wool socks are…

This is bad advice. This issue exists but don't do it.

"She tried to blame it on a block of feta she had sitting out on her bed."

Too bad for Terry that photoshop doesn't have a "remove rape" tool.

Oh my goodness, I totally lost it at the "farty MIDI trumpet sound from entry-level Casio keyboards." You sir have a talent for painting a picture with your words, I salute you.

Screw that, take this bum to THIS woman.

I've always maintained that if you randomly place four people in a house, one of them is sure to be certifiably insane. And just like suckers, if you're in a group of four roommates and can't tell which is the crazy one...

You'd have to slam the mango into the glass like the glass called your mother an unsavory name to break it doing this. Assuming you have even halfway reasonable motor control, it'd be pretty hard to break a glass pushing a soft fruit against the edge of a hard glass. You'd have a higher incident rate slicing butter…

WRONG! Everyone knows that the only proper way to eat a mango is leaning awkwardly over the kitchen sink while the juice gets your hands and chin all sticky.

My excuse is that I read and do 'smart' stuff all day at work so I love a game that I can play without thinking.

This is unbelievably beautiful.

Claiming a pregnant woman is a nod to body diversity is malarkey but this is so pretty. Old masters/Renaissance painting pretty.

Is anybody else reminded of Justin Bieber?

Jennifer Lawrence just saw her future and shuddered.

fuck it all. i blame the biebs.