I gave up watching news on television because I find it way too emotionally manipulative. Likewise I avoid violent crime stories beyond the occasional national news headline — that's not news I need to be an informed citizen.

Yeah, seriously...I mean, if you're doing it on the kitchen floor probs not, but in my world condoms are in the bedside table with the lube and it takes one hand and a quick rip to get them open. Are your condoms in a safe deposit box at the bank?

Good tip, though hard to work it in spontaneously. But after the introductions have been made, I can see how it would be a good confidence builder for the poop shy.

It is indeed a likely outcome (heh) but it really can add to the awkwardness, particularly if you haven't been seeing each other for a long time.

My pro tip for butt spelunking for the neophyte is to slip a lubricated condom over my finger(s). Slipperier, and minimizes self-consciousness about 'omg she's going to get my smelly ass-ness on her fingers and might touch something poopy'.

Agree... there's no reason you can't pair your spelunking expedition with a little "is this OK?" or "I'd love to try this, are you up for something new tonight?"

Yeah, so...(1) didn't say performative displays were bad, just pointing out that they are simplistic ways to understand people and (2) jokes.

Performative femininity is a thing. A thing that influences the kind of superficial snap judgments college students participating in these kinds of studies are making.

I am a big fan of sensual pleasure, including the pleasure of eating. I'm not purely materialistic/utilitarian at all. But I think there's a big distinction to be drawn between enjoying the flavor and texture of food, and enjoying the act of cooking and eating and a constant internalized scoreboard that tells you…

I think what you may have taken away from the journaling experience was a sort of literacy about food that I think is helpful (and lacking) for most people. Like anything else on a food label, it's worthwhile to know what's in your food, including the calorie count, and I think once you get a feel for it, it can guide…

I take your point about biochemical reactions, but that has very little to do with emotions, I think, unless you have mental health related triggers, like drinking alcohol to relieve anxiety, for example.

I had a small revelation about myself recently — that I have a certain need for drama and excitement in my life, and I will subconsciously create it when I don't have enough, including procrastinating until deadlines are almost impossible to meet.

Well, yeah, and it makes sense for diabetics to track their glucose intake, etc. But those solutions aren't about conquering emotional eating, it's just managing your body chemistry. I've never done it, but it seems like it would be easier to manage sodium, caffeine, or even sugar intake for a non-body image related…

I appreciate your perspective, and I understand that unconscious eating is a big bad habit that holds people back from having the health/look that they want.

I don't ever (probs will never) follow any particular diet, but that sounds very sensible.

I fucking hate the food journal idea. Because what's going to make you obsess about food/calories/your personal failure to be a robot more than obsessively documenting it?

It is very important that white children know that they can be anything they want to be when they grow up, even African-American pop stars. When non-white children want to be Cinderella or Captain America, however, that's just foolishness.

Cream of mushroom ::shudder:: I hate that stuff. Can't even stand the smell of it.

I agree, but also, real talk: the main difference I can see among my (mid-thirties to mid-forties) peers in terms of whose looks are aging well and whose aren't is how hard they partied when they were in their twenties.

If you added ginger and garlic and changed it to brown sugar you'd have my (lazy, improvised) Szechaun sauce. A propos your original comment, I usually use that sauce with broccoli and carrots. Nom.