My pops was 50 when he started making kids, so I guess his telomeres were pretty bitchin'.

*curtseys daintily* Why thank you. I am a fan of Willa Cather's bon mots, and yours as well.

Wait, are you a man that does laundry or a woman that enjoys woodworking? I mean, clearly you're hermaphroditic somehow, but which one are you?

Then you should include a saucy note about "working" with his "wood" on your traditional GS Day gift to him.

Thanks for reminding me, I need to bake a cake while wearing a girdle and high heels for Gender Stereotypes Day. I hope my husband likes the set of woodworking tools I got him.

Why was he in the house? Dunno.

I think this is a time where the rule of law has to be enforced, but use of those grey areas is appropriate too.

You don't have to hate someone to point out that something they're doing is deeply silly. Like pretending that celebrities are members of your specific subculture, when it's pretty clear they aren't, just because they're cute.

I believe that, obviously whoever wrote it knows about that subculture, but putting it with a picture of James Franco? It's got to either be a joke or the world's saddest bad boy fantasy.

That one has to be taking the piss, right? Right?

Imaginary boyfriends with movie star faces saying extremely improbable things....if it could be made into fuel, teen girls would be the world's # 1 energy source.

In the ladies' room at my office I recently witnessed a business discussion that was punctuated by one of the parties ripping a Kotex out of her panties while talking.

Especially first dates, when he's the one asking her out. Sheesh.

I especially like the bit about it's unfair to say anything negative about men with the "convenient rationalization" that it happens to be true. Har.

OK, asking about ovulation was pretty cute. It helps that the dudes in the pictures are baby-faced.

I could see that. Men that aren't close enough could be funny, men that are too close are too scary for laffs.

It kind of has to be Overly Attached Girlfriend to be funny, because if you did the same jokes with a boyfriend, it would just be scary.

Perversion: It's important to do it right.

I think the last point is the most important. It's not too hard to understand how someone might find breast pumping erotic — there's boobs, bodily fluids, engorgement, tension and release, a nipple-sucking machine — there's a lot to like, if you swing like that.

I care when underage people sext, not when over 50s do it. That is some misplaced outrage up there in the post.