Full-time, stay-at-home dad chiming in.

My wife just left, with my three children (ages 8, 7, and 3) to spend a 5-day weekend with her sister. She even took the dog. I'm probably going to call in sick tomorrow, and do nothing but masturbate and sleep and masturbate and eat and sleep and masturbate and masturbate and I'm SO FUCKING…

Lot of people riding the pine on that team...

As a dad myself, I can tell you that what dad really wants is for someone to take the kids away, even if it's just for thirty fucking minutes.

What's so hilarious about it?

At this point I'm rooting for all losses in the NFC South to make the playoff picture as hilarious as possible, and I don't care how they lose, so this is is a Thing that is Good.

Still waiting for this in Wintergrasp....

Just to get out in front of anything that might happen during the game, league officials have stated that any player attempting a snow-related celebration will be flagged - and fined - for excessive Tauntaun.

I'm a manager at one, so heres the breakdown:

Somebody was quick to update his wikipedia page

Demographic: Married men with three kids whose rooms are near yours
Average Duration: Leave enough time to pull out
Suggested Accompaniment: John Cage, 4'33"

Rock out with your Hawk out, amirite?

I'm pretty sure you need to rethink where you get dental care.

Design Your Dream Console

Can a guy who played for Mike Martz really believe in intelligent design?

New Orleans has objected, asserting that it's unreasonable to expect fans going abroad for one game to learn a second language.

I'll chime in:

Reusable

Reusable

Oxo Stainless Steel "Good Grips"

Oxo Stainless Steel "Good Grips"

Same thing for Red Lobster during endless shrimp. It's Darden I tell you.