The Problem One Of The Many, Many Problems With Peter King

BB, Stephen, and, of course, former judge of the Supreme Court of South Africa and chairman of the King Committee on Corporate Governance Mervyn E. King would all like to have a word with you.

18?? No way. Whatever year I first discovered jerking off....12 I think? THAT would have been the record year, without a doubt.

This whole thing, down to every fucking last detail, is such a shit-show....I don't even know that I can formulate thoughts beyond that.

Oof. I'm sorry I don't act enough like a proper sports fan for you.

Actually, you know...I was all set to defend myself, but that's pretty spot on. Except I really don't mean to be an asshole, those first couple of posts were drunk and my football team just won.

Andy Reid Busts Out A Jolly Grocery Store Run

I'm shocked you didn't have anything beyond that. At the very least, Seattle fans can articulate their thoughts.

I don't agree with that.

Absolutely, but god damn....quitting your job in such a profane and public fashion, to focus solely on your marijuana store? That's the American dream!

It-a make-a me wake up-a in the middle of-a the night-a covered in-a my own-a urine, never again-a feel safe in-a bed! I close-a my eyes, the demons still-a there! MAMA MIA!

How so?

Very unprofessional.

Fat drunk guy sitting on the couch yelling, I'm fairly certain they don't win that game without me

Oh definitely. It's not just his football abilities- which are extraordinary- but the guy genuinely has a colossal heart for children. Hell, he blew off a visit to the White House and a meeting with Obama, and then he willingly went to the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards and leaped into a vat of slime. For the kids.

The employee has been terminated.

Thanks, I am a very talented person

Posh! Verily the Seattle Seahawks football squad laid forth a mighty besting, a marvelous melee of which shall henceforth and forever be felt by the Denver Broncos football batallion's own brood, many moons from this point in time! Flimshaw! Revulcanize my tires, and fill it with petroleum distillate, posthaste!

PIG FUCK

No, I'm just a football fan, and a lot of the shit we do is irrational. I'm glad you're having a blast correcting people's pronoun usage after their team wins a wild game. You seem like a fun guy, Fred.