They miss recess at my son's school.

In fairness, my zoo membership also functions as my gym membership (lots of walking) and my “dear God, let me out of the house to see some sunlight” pass.

A zoo membership isn’t crazy. It’s just a pass to the zoo.

Can we add “too judged”? Because parents that try to let their kids fall down and be more feral and learn from their mistakes get arrested now. Somewhere along the line we made imperfect parenting a crime.

A. Crappy child/disabled/elder care

Did I wake up in some alternate universe in which presidential candidates WANT people to believe they’ve stabbed someone and hit their mother with a hammer?? I’m losing my mind right?? Are we dead??

Well, that’s your problem right there. He’s got a Dick Ass. Who knows whats hiding in that thing?

girl

I’m pretty sure I’ve said this before but I am SO FUCKING JEALOUS of you lot having Obama. (Putting foreign policy aside, over which I suspect he has little control).

Boo. I need this to be a thing.

Ha, Wish! I believe it’s actually a Leno Tonight Show joke edit.

I know that in January 2017, I am going to experience four very real stages of grief no matter who is elected. Denial, bargaining, anger and depression. I cannot imagine making it to acceptance.

I’m gonna start referring to him as “The IDGAF Prez”...thank you!!!

Abby also announced her retirement.

I rilly rilly hated that phrase until this very moment.

LOVE this IDGAF Obama. He’s right. When you play like a girl, you’re a friggin badass.

A man with daughters doing it right who also happens to be The IDGAF President.

USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA

Obama is living his best life right now.