FAYE! What do you think happened in that elevator between Solange and JayZ?

*claps happily*

On the one hand you're wondering what he did to set her off, what cruel, mean thing he said to deserve a beating. Then you end by pointing out he looked confused.

Hey, I found your uterus in my yard.

Ugh. This is still too complicated for my tiny female brain. Just show me some lolcats.

You know how in the tabloids there's always an "expert" to analyze pictures and pass a diagnosis? This shit is a lot like that.

My mom had four kids. She's barely wasted an opportunity to tell us how we all ruined her life. In fact, she disowned my older brother and sisters because my sisters made her a grandmother (making her feel old) and my brother was simply a disappointment.

SHOULDER PADS

ha.

We do seem pretty afraid of zombies, so we've got that going for us, which is nice.

I watched the final episode of Friends with my oldest friend and her then-husband.

I'm a fan because the show is fun and Jensen Ackles is fucking adorable.

Hey Shane West: pics or it didn't happen.

Wups, posted in the wrong spot. I cant even blame Kinja

I went to four proms: 10th grade, 11th grade, 2 in 12th grade (hometown and town next door) and by the second prom I was bored. I can't believe I went to two more after that. Thankfully promposals didn't exist in my hometown in the late 80s.

My fingers are like that. During the winter I contemplate wrapping yarn around it like a boyfriend's class ring because there have been times it's flown off my finger and I have to follow the ting-tings to find it.

How DARE you ruin chicken for me. Good day, sir.

Extra points if you pronounce the words as they're written. I'd like to see the best man's speech top THAT.

Maybe a button that says "I'm peeing. Right now. Ask me why you didn't notice!"

"Look lady, I don't care about what's going on in your pants."