Isn't it possible that he merely forgot that he had committed to signing with Browns?

I'm from the Northside of Chicago, where there's punctuation.

That's a hell of a sentence.

I get all the responses saying to ask the bell boy. Ask the valet. But I don't like the stereotyping, you know? I'm a bearded, hoodie-wearing, saggy jeans-wearing black guy and I haven't smoked weed in 15 years (And I have noothing against tokers. It just isn't for me anymore.) And if someone asked me where they could…

If you're running the spread offense, I can't imagine anything more spread out that placing your players all over the country on different teams.

Looking things up might do you good. "Jamoke" is decades old. It's been in use since at least the 40's to mean sucker/loser/chump/idiot.

One of my favorite Seinfeld episodes ever. Also one of the best memories of have of my mom when she was bedridden before she died. We laughed until we cried when he installed the disposal in his shower. Classic.

"I have full confidence in my teammates to execute that play because we had run it so many times."

Sorry about your habitat polar bear; the People's Republic demands infinite industry!

As a former resident of Chicago, I can say that most of them aren't getting out of bed today because it's a Wednesday in February. When you've not seen the sun since mid-November, your will to live dies.

Does this mean six more weeks of winter?

I have zero problem with your desire to keep the game simple or difficult numbers-free for your enjoyment. But you're rehashing the same fallacies as other anti-stat guys. They are:

I have a theory about people who become wildly successful/famous on the level that Steve has achieved: their relationship with their past, pre-fame and success, is an either or proposition. Either they embrace it. Or they shed it like a snake sheds its skin, leaving it in the middle of the road, to dry up and blow…

Jeff Ireland: Dez, are you ashamed of your grammar?

So what you're saying is domestic violence is only acceptable under a team-friendly extension...

Well, if it's worse than the impact from Ray Rice, it must be on par with the impact from the handrail.

Fitting that Novak would be "Bud Wiser" since both have terrible hops.

"…and what type of lion did you say it was again?"

Thanks for that expert analysis of a situation you've never been in nor ever will be in.

Because what could be more Bill Belichick than having his 5th corner fully prepared for the world's least likely play call?