I hope you’re exaggerating. If Denton is lying I think we should know

No, this time a US player didnt save them

Because they don’t want them halting play and discussing everything after the fact. Next thing you know, you’re watching Carrie Underwood and 3 hours of beer commercials

In summary, this entire situation is really fucking stupid. Stop pre-ordering games, idiots

I’ve gone through 35 years of life and I’ve never used fabric softener in my entire life. Still not quite sure exactly what it does. I mean, okay, it says on the bottle it softens your fabrics but I’ve never had a problem with my clothes, you know, being hard or anything

Me and my friends are all movie buffs and none of us have ever been fans of Woody Allen. There’s no hate there, just that nothing he’s ever done has ever resonated with me in any way whatsoever. I feel like maybe its an East Coast/West Coast thing

The clock never stops in soccer. If they start doing it now the next thing you know the games will be 3 hours of beer commercials

“And did you know 90 minutes really isn’t the end of the game.... Sometimes two people have to touch the ball, sometimes one.... And will someone PLEASE explain the offsides rule to me?”

Interesting variation of The White Girl Swirl

My first memory is learning how to swim. My dad took me in the pool, let me go, lifted me up to breathe when I started drowning, let me go again, and repeated until I could tread water. Traumatic, but effective

Well at least he can shave it off or grow a full beard, but that prison sentence ain’t going anywhere

I’m not sure if I want to see this film, but if it has the comically stupid weapons and armor the game has I definitely will not see it

Generally you don’t see an athlete saying “Pshh, fuck ya I’m roided up”

I guess its just hard for me to notice when a defender is playing well. But when he’s playing badly, hoo-boy

And Alvarado is still in there?

Its all about the shath, son. You turn the shower on and lay in the bathtub like its an opulent hot waterfall, puts me to sleep every time

Well it is just a practice game between a 2nd division English team and some other team I’ve never even heard of

No, I think the poor guy has had enough. We should hit the brakes, change gears and cycle to other jokes

He’s half-heartedly defending him, but he doesn’t want Messi to overshadow his own legacy. He won’t state the obvious, that Messi just doesn’t have the support that he does in Barcelona or what Maradona had during his glory days

Great, everyone get ready for the army of Cletuses complaining about soccer coverage