“That’s what I love about the theory of relativity. My family gets older, I stay the same age.” 

The fact that he managed to piss off his former city’s fanbase on the way to greener pastures that not many people will be an actual improvement means he’ll fit in quite well with the soon-to-be Las Vegas Raiders, a franchise that knows a thing or two about that sort of thing.

It’s low self-esteem. He thinks he is not important enough for people to care what he thinks and that’s why he feels free to say mean things about people.

Fighting is part of the game.

That’s why you have to trick them.

It’s German for The Bart, The.

Ha! Since creativity is dead, I was just paraphrasing this scene from The Simpsons.

People who speak German cannot be bad. 

So much this. Took my girls (7 and 4) to their first hockey game a few months ago. This was AHL. Before the game we were looking at the Zambonis parked by the side of the rink and the security guard kinda laughed and gave them a little wave. We head back to our seats and about ten minutes later the same dude walks up…

It’s basically the Streisand effect here, and it’s wonderful

Maybe if she’d gone to public school she wouldn’t be so fucking stupid

I do not want to see Robert Kraft given a blowjob, but I do want to live in a world where the video of Robert Kraft getting a blowjob is widely available.

I’m shocked!  Shocked! To learn there is gambling in this establishment!

How is that different, say, from today?

Put it in a giant bag of rice when you’re done with the soak and it should be a-okay!

More like Angelique Gerber, amirite? Get it? Because she’s such a baby... you don’t get it, it’s funny.

Given that we do not even teach the Trail of Tears in most K-12 programs, and both the Holocaust and West African Slave Trade are being either removed from or significantly softened in K-12 texts, this kind of thing is only going to get worse.

It’s a funny thing, working in academia: you’re surrounded by other highly…

You can’t blame Lewis for this. Every British person knows that if a piece of dirt never had a Union Jack on it, it must be unexplored.

You say that Godzilla will save us. But everybody knows MOTHRA!!! is our true savior.

What a weird, dumb, and completely unnecessary saga.