The real real answer?

Every time Jezebel runs a piece on Cardi B, I wonder WTF is wrong with Jezebel.She’s a garbage person.  

She is disgusting.  I love dick, but honestly - I almost threw up when I read that.  Not only is she a violent criminal, she is vulgar and lame.  I get that her publicist is paying someone, but - can we not? 

MSG sensitivity is like gluten sensitivity. Yes, it really exists - but the loudest voices complaining about it and saying to avoid it don’t have or understand it. 

I thought the guy with the dreadlocks was a girl trying to get her boyfriend to stop fighting, until he turned around and I saw the beard. I was thinking she’s pretty breve to get in between them.

This lady right here. Already enjoying all that 2020 has to offer.

Chris Hill felt safe because Drew Magary was there to protect him.

Cardi B, drugger of people, violent attacker of women, vicious transphobe, and favorite of Jezebel.  Maybe she can be President once she works out her legal issues.

Great, but maybe start small and work yourself up to the presidency? As a bureaucrat, I can tell you it looks A LOT different from the inside than the outside. Learn the ropes, learn all the billion rules, get comfortable navigating the system, then go for gold.

Isn’t every picture of him a dick pic?

I know Family Guy isn’t popular around here, but:

Cheers! I thoroughly enjoyed your writing and am sad to see you leave, but I wish you all the success in the world.

Ecleen, I have always admired your writing, loved your takes, and your product diary still brings me inspiration (I miss those...) all the best to you :)

Good luck in your next chapter

Congrats on getting out before the herb sinks this ship, too!

It would pretty much have to include floating. Humans are pretty buoyant, and it doesn’t take a lot of effort to stay afloat as long as you don’t panic. Rough seas would make it more difficult. Lots of body fat would make it easier. But I think the record is 3-4 days, so 11 hours isn’t impossible. That said, I…

A lot of it probably was. I’ve fortunately never been in that position, but the salt water is supposed to allow for better buoyancy, so if you spread your arms and legs out, and let yourself float, that 11 hours is completely possible (if terrifying and exhausting). I’d be curious to know what kind of PFD the guy was…

You know there’s only 1 chair that is perfect for this contraption: