He looks like Kevin from “The office”.

Feels like a missed opportunity to utilize “Fat Matt.”

I got in to UT Austin and I'm a white woman. They automatically let in every student who is in the top 10% of their class. If the bitch would have done better in school she would have gotten in.

She’s gonna be all like:

You know you want to, bro

No, “Everything happens for a reason” people are the WORST people. I agree with the rest of your list though.

old wive’s tale, yo

My parents had to give away their cat when I was born because it would crawl into my crib and try to “cuddle” with me. Actually, it was suffocating me. It could get under the door and everything. My parents like to say that he just “loved me too much”, but he could have had other, more sinister, intentions...

My mom’s cat when I was a baby was fiercely protective of me. She slept in the crib but never on my face, just cuddled up next to me and attacked anyone that tried to touch me that wasn’t my mom or brother. 25lb murder cat terrified my aunts and uncles and grandparents until she finally warmed up to them.

Banana pee! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate how little you understand basic economics

With my fear of heights and vertigo, Imma give this a hard pass.

This reminds me of another story I read in article recently about taking your pets from overseas to US:

I didn’t like how there was no explanation for stuff happening. It was mostly “la, la, la, bad thing, fix, next bad thing”

Do robots like potatoes and disco?

The Martian 3: Holy Shit Everyone Else is on Mars and Watney is Left Alone On Earth, How Did That Happen?

I’m sure it’s great and I’m definitely going to see it and Chiwetel Ejiofor is a really great actor....but come on. They couldn’t find one Indian guy? Seriously?

I’m waiting for the sequel.

Look at the steely eyes on that missile man.

While many drought-concerned residents of California are using leftover bongwater to water their plants