Why are you listening to crappy music? In this day and age it's easy to choose whatever music you like to listen to. Stop listening to crappy music.

♫ And those three men came from afar,

Heh heh. You said stiff.

I'll tell you what, boys: if you can find something to wear other than a grubby t-shirt and jeans, shave once in awhile, spend as much time on your hair and skin in the morning as women do, and learn how to make eyes at me across the room, I'll ask you out and pay for your dinner. Of course, I reserve the right to…

I initially assumed the picture of the monkeys at the top was the sexual position and I thought you meant a threeway with a child. So my answer was an emphatic: "WTF?! Jesus Christ, NO. What is your fucking dysfunction?!"

If she's that strong, I would prefer she just carry me around, Arianna Grande-style.

Smart move by the Dodgers putting all of the relevant information out there in case someone wanted to give Vin a ring.

Nah. I've never watched a UFC fight. I'm just a fan of the English language.

That's nice, but a bit too simple for my tastes. I always preferred this U.S. Geologic Survey chart myself:

The hell? Your comment reads something that was deciphered by Google translate.

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?! Hell, no!!

I'm waiting with decreasing patience for America to have its man-up moment, to stop acting like 310 million sniveling toddlers crying to mommy.

If a Seth Rogen movie kills America, then the country deserves its fate. Let's break it up and start fresh.

I would be more generous and say Season Two to Season Eight. Yes, it's rougher in the beginning (especially Homer's voice and personality), but you get a full sense of how the show evolved from its roots on the Ullman show to the most beloved comedy series of the '90s. The big shift comes around Seasons Four and…

Armin Tamzarian, we hardly knew ye...