I was really feeling depressed before that video, it made me happier so now I don't have to eat a ton of ice cream and die of beaties.

As an ex-DJ I gotta give props to the DJ for figuring out what song the dude wanted.

My buddy's dad thought the Rolling Stones were proclaiming that they'd "Never eat, your pizza burger." Probably because it would mess up their intestines...

Barry's intelligence is a mute point, just let the man be.

This caller was Blinded by the Light.

For all intensive purposes, you are a moron, Barry.

If it's the guy signing your checks? Every single time.

Every proper yacht has a ball buoy.

In middle school, members of the lacrosse team would beat Craggs up almost daily and take his lunch money. Those were the toughest girls that you never wanted to get mad.

This is kind of like that thing you posted yesterday except relevant this time!

When contacted by Major League Lacrosse, Jay Z's right hand man Memphis Bleek said "so do you want a combo or just the sandwich?"

"Mr. Carter would not last one minute on a lacrosse field during a match"

Scott Caan will play him in any future biopic.

Not sure how a tweeted photo can smell like Axe Body spray, but here we are.

So...did he have surgeons put the gel in his hair during the operation?

Well it had to be quick, since it appears the match was aired by Vine.

I hope someone kicks you down a flight of stairs. That is all.

Ford Bronco - America wants its Truck Based, Short Wheel Base, Utilitarian SUVs back.

yeah but that's just because you're not allowed near kids

My only issue with voice is that it should download new messages to my phone immediately instead of waiting for me to open up voice. Even then it always pauses the first time I put it to my ear. I always have to hit play again to hear the message. T-Mobiles visual voice mail was made better but the problem is that…