The weird thing, to me, is that it's even still a story about trying to get laid. The sexless undertone seems like an aside to the incidental kitten genocide at the heart of it all.

Is the Seattle drought non-transferable?

Raymond Carver, more likely, but for no real purpose considering the actual content of the article. Referential for the sake of empty referentiality.

Clearly it is, but one has to wonder if it is intentional or subconsciously incidental. I feel like it's a bit misplaced, but very much a consequence of the second generation of New Journalism in tandem with the current age of the internet. But that's just me idly musing, really.

Having grown up with The Turtles, I think I'm as displeased as anyone at first reaction. However, I feel like we're really looking at this from a pretty narrow angle; had we not grown up on one long-enduring context for them, I don't think we'd be that taken aback. By this point, we're pretty well conditioned to not…

I'd say this is easily the most complete Facebook article I've ever seen written by a teenager in 2009. Definitely a worthwhile addition to a fresh conversation.

I know this is a silly, Sports-Geek-Lite question, but... why was this all confidential to begin with?

Succinct.

Nope.

Well, we both know you're lying about being a lawyer, so take a faux-educated guess what the runner-up position is for you...

The scary thing is that you don't believe the truth; a bit of an Achilles trait for someone trying to purport themselves as a trial lawyer on the internet... good thing there's no burden of proof for you to back that one up. Anyway, could you take your ad homenim defenses of anti-civility to one of the other hundreds o…

Ha ha ha ha. Busting a gut at a cheerleader for Team Rape saying something as bold as "I feel your pain."

Ha ha ha. Pretty funny indictment from a dude who spent half his afternoon defending a rapist.

I don't see said admission, but I'm sure that's par for course. Or maybe it was in reply to one of the hundred other people calling you out for your socially regressive proto-misogyny?

Nope. Just trying to see if it's possible to lead you to logical point through repetition, but you're a horse dying of dehydration in natural spring water. Get some fucking perspective and don't respond again until after you have.

Get some fucking perspective and don't respond again until after you have.

Get some fucking perspective and don't respond again until after you have.

Let me repeat:

You're fighting the good fight, and you are thoroughly reasoned, but if 100 contrary posts isn't enough to get through to this kid, then he's a lost cause. In nearly every conceivable way.

The facts are presented plainly all around you.