You need to pick sides in the face of the absent parents, and I think Ruby deserves credit for not (yet) having put a pillow over Max's face.

Both the son and the daughter (who's in the fourth as well as the latest) were actually in the first Die Hard; they're heard on the telephone and seen in a family photo. I point this out because I am lame.

Let's go, Polio Blankets— CLAP, CLAP, CLAP CLAP CLAP.

All that talk about "mandible protection" in the Riddell promo video, I started waiting for shots of the Predator modeling the helmet.

Joke's on the guy who attacked him. Really hates The Substitute 3.

"Disgusted in Alabama": easily one of my favorite Reese Witherspoon movies.

If I've never seen any of the Twilight movies without their corresponding RiffTrax commentaries, does that count as not having seen any of them?

That UPS thing happened to me AS I WAS READING THIS POST. If Mythbusters had a plumber, I'd call them.

'Big Murder' is my rap name.

Gary Glitter's probably still a go, though.

@ropenecklacewarehouse

Why aren't the franchises just telling us? Are they demanding that we respect their privacy during this special time?

"Tradition" is a pretty grandiose term for an entire city that has to share one guy's iPhone.

To be fair, punters and placekickers are the only ones who play the game literally.

Pictured: The individual who calls the plays in Andrew Luck's head.

Not only do I believe the title of this article should have been, "It's Football You Faggot", FOX really might want to consider appropriating it as their slogan for NFL Sundays.

It is.

Jerry and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad 161,000 Days?

He's not buying any of that "born-again virgin" nonsense, ESPN. He's not going to go out with you.

"Uh... Tommy... John...