He's not buying any of that "born-again virgin" nonsense, ESPN. He's not going to go out with you.

"Uh... Tommy... John...

Holy mackerel.

0:55

What about Beadle's passive-aggressive comment on the girls' needing a shower?

Are they going to implement a new team chant, as well? "WE—ARE—EMBARRASSED!", "WE—ARE—SCREWED!"...something like that?

I prefer to believe him in exchange for getting to judge his character based solely on that photo.

"...the Crip Walk is a funky little hip-hop dance move"...

I thought she was representing Hank Azaria's "The Blue Raja".

I like that movie about you starring Erika Christensen.

In that first frame, you look like you're about to be executed (at some sad carnival).

So what was actual 9/11 to them? The Lady Lions' field hockey game against St. Joseph's being postponed on Sept. 12, 2001?

Whatizzat, some fag thing? Ur prob a fagAAAARRRGHHH SPORT TEAM I LIKE.

I saw that game. Wait—no, I didn't. Or did I?

"...as timely and relevant as the latest refresh of the Drudge Report", writes Nolte.

I think the lesson here actually might be, "don't go to events at Dave & Buster's".

I feel shame for feeling pride for having that 'Colbert' fast-forward down to a science.

Federer should have reclaimed the spotlight by spiking that cup and maybe extolling the virtues of Cobra Kai or something.

Sandusky then left but gave me a fair warning, 'If you tell a soul I tocuhed {sic} your penis, I will kill you' and left.

Where does Jay Cutler's sister fit into the deal?