I want to believe.
Don't worry ladies, I know his junk may seen formidable, but something about him tells me he won't be able to make it all the way...
Since he now looks like Abe Vigoda, they just should've named him Fish.
Because Rob Ford or Bugs Bunny sawing off Florida would've been too timely and relevant.
Dude, $9billion in profit that's just sitting around in coffers can't be created on its own (looks at Jamie Dimon and rest of banking industry, rescinds comment)
It's hilarious. NBC needs to cut out content so that it isn't too long. But Sunday Night Football can be on until nearly midnight because we need commercials after touchbacks and time outs to ice the kicker.
It's for the best that they chose Seagal, as the people at these games don't seem to respect Schwarzenaggers or heed Stall-ones.
Malcolm Smith, I'mma let you finish, but Al Qaeda had the best destruction of an over hyped Mile High fixture of the past 15 years!
As a Franklin Delano Roosevelt fan, I am really disappointed that he didn't win Maine in the 1936 Presidential Election.
And here I was thinking we'd go another Super Bowl with nary a mention of the Jets.
Who knew Buster was a truther?
Fuck it. I'm starting to really like Justin Beiber. Blatant disregard for common decency? Utter contempt for his pre-teen fanbase? Pills and weed during a Lamborghini race on a busy freeway? Plowing Brazilian prostitutes? Playing basketball poorly? This kid is everything I would be if I had a billion dollars too.
[takes a shot]
Birdman: Nice sign.
Come at me, Khal
None of them do. That's postfeminist nonsense.
My liberal arts education prepared me for this better than I could have ever imagined.