Translation, if needed:

Damn, Tiger really needs to stop ruining his brand immediately after Thanksgiving.

There were 3 shooters in the JFK shooting: Oswald, the grassy knoll, and a squirrel in a tree on Dealey Plaza.

i, likewise, demand answers for why the packers haven’t been as good since rodgers got hurt. i’m not saying obama’s behind all this, but i’m also not not saying obama’s behind this.

Man, what a huge day for dick based gestures. Shout out to dick based gestures.

Fuck Kansas. They refused to shake hands before the game. Why they wanted to bring bad sportsmanship into it is unknown but Mayfield is the Bobby Fischer of it when he wants to be.

He looks more like a Kyle to me.

I mean, Panama’s entire existence is predicated on letting things through.

Wait, I think I got it, guys. He’s calling wresting fake.

How is this possible? This is insane. INSANE!

“Whatever, man.”

This is progress. Usually Cleveland police protest browns by shooting them.

say it to my face

You must be fun at parties.

A nasty collision with a Willy is usually cause for a Yoan.

Listen to this asshole Joe Rogan: “I don’t think interviewing fighters after they’ve been knocked out is a good idea, but I just want this knocked out fighter to give me some thoughts right now.” Get the fuck outta here

Making fun of his weight is just picking low hanging fruit, which Christie would never touch, unless it’s covered in chocolate or filling a pie; because he’s a fatty fatty 2x4, can’t fit through the kitchen door.

Well, he’ll always have the job at the gay bar to fall back on

I don’t know. For nuclear, he probably needed to go with LeBron or Durant or Westbrook. This is like a mild sunburn take if you’re exposed to it for four hours without takeblock.