“Daddy, why do I not learn the same things as you did? Why do you have to teach me all over again when I get home?”

“Because in 2017 I got this sweet digital sword upgrade and America got Betsy DeVos. Also your voucher only covers the A & Bs. Everything else is an additional fee.”

And the right wing constantly accuse the left of using payed protesters. Project much?

They appreciate it. As someone who pays her bills through an ACLU salary, I thank you all deeply. The ACLU is very good people and they are going to be tireless the next 4 years.

No, this was totally out of line. It’s not Snoop’s place to teach American kids bad words their parents don’t want them to hear. We have the current President of the United States for that.

He’s not even sworn in yet and has already had a number of instances of referring to any remotely hostile or adversarial coverage as fake and completely dismissing every single poll that says he isn’t beloved among the public by pointing to the fact that he won (with three million fewer votes than his opponent). Gonna…

I can tell I’m getting old (I’m 47 next month), because this kind of public proposal makes my skin crawl. My kid did some goddamn public thing to ask his girlfriend to the prom, and I was like “the fuck, buddy?”

The wrinkle everyone is missing here is that the ref is his girlfriend’s father.

That’s what some of the people that voted for him thought. I’ll be amazed if that’s actually what his agenda is. It certainly doesn’t look like it from what Congress is up to the last couple weeks.

ask him to have darren unblock me on twitter so i can call him a piece of shit again

Finally, Richard Sherman admits to pass interference.

Are all the Colts ones from the same game? That dude is just owning souls out there.

How is this a thing? Aren’t those grown men in those suits? How do I become a part of this?

“4. Pocket glasses”

Wow, she seems super annoying.

Luckily, the Phillies still have their pitching staff around if they need something shelled.

Got an email from my mom this past weekend; can confirm.

“I was like a god out there; I owned that stadium,” said the nut vendor.

What?!?! You mean there may be some gray areas and subtle complexities in the world. My tv tells me to only think in absolutes.

This would be like the Sacramento Rivercats playing well enough to switch places with the Marlins, and then making the playoffs in the following year, and then having their plane go down as they flew to the NLCS. Roughly.

Ah. Gotcha.