You are a terrible person, because I am hearing your words in my mind, and when I got to #3 I finished the quoted part with “BAT-MAAAAAN!” Now I have to knock that out of my head.

Okay, normally I'm all about people helping people, but for god's sake with these, no. Help your friends by quietly burning all information associated with these shoes.

I think instead of a fashion scavenger hunt we need a fashion intervention.

Me neither. They are terrible. The nude, the shape of the heel and the whole mess in the front... Godspeed in finding the things you want in life, but reconsider these shoes.

I can't fathom why anyone would want these shoes.