You forgot to mention the title of the painting, "The Aristocrats."

Pretty much begins and ends with this.

Psssh, this is nothing. When I was 6 all my dad did was teach me how to build things, taught me respect, yelled at me when I fucked up, then later made me get a job in high school, bought my clothes, food, and a car for me. Then he had the nerve to pay out of pocket for 4 years of college and support all of my…

Look, birds have to nudge their young out of the nest, right? This is pretty much just like that, except I've never had the urge to swing a lead pipe into a bird's nuts as hard as fucking possible.

That headshake at the end is exactly what my father does when he has had it up to here with my shit.

2:49 is still a stupid good marathon time.

It smells like warm farts in the Hynes Convention Center on Sunday

When I was in 4th grade, I became a kickball legend. I was playing 2nd base, with runners on 1st and 2nd base, with no outs. Anyway, up comes the opposing team captain and he kicks a screaming line drive right to me (out #1). I catch the ball chest high, center mass. I pivot slightly to my right and notice the the…

"He then said 'biscuit' like five more times..."

She knew nothing about baseball until Brett took her to the ballpark ... so she could see a diamond in the flesh.

Someone better at the internet than I please add lightning coming out of her middle finger.

Well, that's anecdotes, and since a lot of those things lead to accidents and accidents leads to deaths, hard statistics can roughly quantify your anecdotes and tell us that whatever your issues are elsewhere, Texas is worse.

Fatalities Rate per 100 Million Vehicle Miles Traveled:

As one who installed swimming pools to work my way through school: Getting people to understand the difference between concrete and cement is...

No, if you're an adult you can do whatever makes you happy, even if others think it's foolish.

Could you be a little more vulgar?

You either need to calm the fuck down or just stop commenting.

They got the item they originally put money toward anyway so I don't get the point of asking for a refund. Everyone already got their first run of the product or the dev edition and they were already working on the 2.0 so the kickstarter has long passed.