Sorry dude, but because of Ford (and Hudak and the bozo Senators and Bieber and Chavril) we've lost our ability to be smug to our Southern friends. We really can't do the "Amerikkka is dumb" shtick anymore, we're no better.

They've been allowing black people for quite a while now.

Considering the rest of the list, I'm shocked this didn't make the cut.

"Amateur."

I don't see what the big deal is. I explode in my wife's shoes all the time.

If your girlfriend sons you, you sheepishly laugh it off then keep it moving. If your girlfriend ethers you, you quit your job and end up on the Deadspin front page.

"He deserved my scorn, but doesn't deserve it from everyone else."

"I don't usually share drama on social media"

I don't know what makes her more naive, that she didn't suspect him of cheating or that she actually expects him to read that entire letter.

I think the statute of limitations has been far passed for spoilers...it's like spoiling the Vietnam war.

That’s a bit of a role reversal. Usually it's a dick running his Ford into a fire hydrant. Either way you’re probably looking at a bumper with a little crack in it.

What's interesting about it is that he's a human being named Jadeveon and so if he couldn't run fast he also couldn't get a job. Thanks mom!

As a Canadian, I say that Quick deserves FAR more credit in that game than Price does.

As a Canadian, you should be concerned about not being an American.

My buddy accidentally tweeted some pics of him and I shirtless and cuddling/making out together on our vacation in the Carribbean. What's the best way to explain to people that we were just a couple of bros casually hanging out and that I'm not really gay?

THAT'S THE JOKE

Kate: Wolf!
Groggy roommate: Where?
Kate: No, just a regular one I think.

He was very clearly fucking around. Anyone who doesn't see that is a fucking idiot.