Sally Field in Mrs Doubtfire.

Literally every kid goes through the phase where they don’t want to be killed by a shooter in their school so they march on Washington DC. I know I did.

Agree. It’s obvious from the video above that that woman does not know how to handle a cat. You don’t grab them from their waist from behind, or stick your hand in their face!

This how I wake up most mornings, especially in the winter.

I have two; one acts like she’s HBIC but gets awfully snuggly at night, and the other is a cinnamon roll too pure for this world and loves me all the time. I mean, it’s probably because I feed them, but they seem to like me well enough.

Here’s the thing - even when we complain about the naughty/destructive things they do, we’re semi-bragging. Because it’s part of their charm. Even when my cat managed to bounce clawfully onto my back, jump onto a tower on his cat castle that broke off and landed on me followed by him landing on my head - all in one…

I don’t know if Pete loves me. I don’t think I even believe cats can love. But he associates me with food and warmth and safety and cuddles and things he likes, and he chooses to be near me because of that. If he comes and sits on my knee, or cuddles up next to me on the bed, or does head-boops, it’s for his…

My cat generally prefers my husband, but sometimes he likes to spoon with me in bed. He tucks himself under my chin, his head on the pillow, and wraps his paws around my hand or arm and purrs like he’s been waiting his whole life to be in bed with me. Periodically he half turns around to rub his head against my cheek.

I’ve had several cats in my life, all of them very loving towards me. They would greet me when I came home, curl up next to me when I sleep and could even tell when I was sick and would gently sit next to me. They are great friends to have. Never been bitten or clawed intentionally by any of my cats (the only injuries…

My cat adores my wife and I (unless it’s during the two hours between when I get home and when I feed him dinner, then he’s a demon until we play with him). Spends most of his time when we’re home on one of our laps, sleeps between us in bed, and actually cuddles me every morning as soon as he sees I’m awake. As in,…

My cat loves me a little TOO much. I used to live on the second floor of an old brownstone, and when I’d walk up to the front steps, she would meow down to me from the window — and as I’d walk up the stairs to my apartment, I’d hear her jump down and run to the door. She also used to enjoy surprising me by jumping…

Orange barrel!!! Orange barrel!!!! REROUTE!!!!

Early rumors say any return package would require a switch in Hilary Swank camps

As a Penguins’ fan, so was I.

at least I’m drunk

I’d rather have the flight delayed, and then canceled, and then the pilot quits, and then the airline goes out of business, and then the airport shuts down, and then all flights are grounded, and then humans lose the knowledge necessary for mechanical flight, than be on a barf plane.

Give me the delay every time. In addition to not finding myself in a situation in which I’m sure I’m going to die (in a flaming, vomity wreck), I can always station myself at the airport bar and idle away the time. Plus, if we eventually do take off, and the flight is still turbulent, at least I’m drunk.

Delay delay delay; this is the only correct answer. The worst part about modern (economy) air travel is that you’re strapped into a cramped tube for hours as you’re thrown across the sky. Why would you want to make that even more hellish with the addition of everyone barfing? With no place to escape from the smell and…

I really admire you folks who wade into that shit infested section of the internet.

I don’t like the texture of fat and I don’t know how anyone does, but I started rendering all the fat I get with cuts of meat at home, and oh man, is that shit good. It’s great to cook with, and the little bits that you eventually end up with are like yummy bacon bits. A few weekends ago, I rented a house with some…