I’d like to point out he did this all so his daughter could be a princess but like all good princesses she will never become Queen, she has two older brothers who I assume are above her in the Line of Succession.

Morgan Spurlock?

I feel like I want to crowdfund an army and go take over his Virginia home, overthrowing him and his heir. Nothing bloody; we’d just strong-arm them into the street, change the locks, and let them watch me making myself at home: watching Netflix on their flat-screen, eating their food, etc.

Salt the earth with your saltiness, mori!

Those are the breaks. You want a state, you need to be able to defend it. I would recommend attacking before it get recognized by the UN. That way, there isn’t anyone to bitch to. Or if it becomes recognized by the UN, ally yourself with a security council member. That way, they won’t do anything about it.

Hey! We are all sinners! We can all be forgiven in the eyes of our Lord for our mortal sins! Jesus will take us all into his house of forgiveness and let us taste of his immortal blood, so long as we allow him into the depths of our hearts.

Morgan Sporlock (Super Size Me) is directing the Disney version of this story...

I think it’s more gross in the sense that this is a guy who says marriage is a holy institution between a man & a woman & that gay marriage sullies that institution. Apparently it’s ok to fuck around or sext young interns but 2 gay individuals who love each other getting married? That’s going too far. Marriage is…

I guess I neglected to put in the one where he promised to “Have my way with you” and “leave you quivering” which really activated my barf reflex coming from a married politician and headed in the direction of a barely post-adolescent woman.

So while work place relationships with power dynamics like this are bad and while married people sexting other people is bad, I’m not seeing what is so “gross” about the texts themselves?

the erotic heat, it overpowers me

Tongue-sticking-out-winky-face emoji is easily one of the LEAST sexy emojis.

wait does all sexting look this bad when youre not in the moment

“So what’s the Diehl with sexting interns?”

“ There has never been a time when an elected official is praised for his “family values” that it does not come back to bite him in the worst way possible. Remember this, family values Republicans. Learn it well. For once. “

Fairuza Balk is the most badass name.

Shailene Woodley: The poor man’s Jennifer Lawrence.

So in one hand, the doctor is holding a picture of turd in a microwave, and in the other hand, he’s holding up a poster for the upcoming remake of the wonderful ninetiestastic film, “The Craft.” Which is which?