Were they worried about epic chili-pregnancy farts in an enclosed setting or worms? I hope you made a silent but deadly reply.

I don't know how far along you are but by the end of my pregnancy there wasn't really a defined morning anymore because I was peeing every freaking hour and couldn't get comfortable in bed.

So my question is still how? It's hard and takes time to get babies to eat mashed up food, they wear most of it so it can't be that they're getting tons of it right? Is it what kind of food it is? My son is this age and is long and has these fabulously pudgy thighs but weighs in on the large side at 22lbs. How do you…

I have honestly been singing "Reproduction" in my head for like two weeks now what with all the pollen everywhere, or as the song puts it "a frenzied chlorophyllous orgy starts in spring."

When my brother came home from Iraq and Afghanistan he would have this distinct pattern of speech where the word "fuck" was just inserted all over the place. It's called "fuck patois" and it was oddly lyrical. The great example Steven Pinker gives is of a soldier saying:

I finally googled "lulu". Urban dictionary said it means: "a noun meaning interesting or funny internet content." Dear god, this is a thing now? There are roving bands of teenagers lulzing? Oh the humanity. It's bad enough when my little sister randomly Vines or Snapchats during an in-person conversation or people,…

I love restaurant stories (retail stories too) because servers and bartenders seem to see a real cross-section of humanity at it's most basic and most honest: eating/drinking and paying for it.... I spent an inordinate amount of time reading about waitstaff and the Sunday crowd at that Sundays are the Worst website. …

Was that you?! I never got a chance to thank you so... thank you. Also, you may or may not be a sex criminal, there's a pending sexual investigation.

Liquor + bong hits can knock you out. And I for two have also mixed the two and gone from amarous to ill and than passed out. Your scenario matches my read on the facts.

Okay I clearly replied to the wrong post by accident. So, that last one was WAAAAY out of context. My bad. Damn the new kinja.

I don't know what is wrong with me but I can't say pussy without making the liquor face or giggling. I can say cunt, no problem but pussy is somehow like the only word I can't say without some sort of face. Wait, not true, I can call someone a pussy but not talk about my own... I'm such a pussy.

It's like how when conservatives tried and failed to have their own version of The Daily Show they failed miserably because they aren't funny. Here they seemed to be going for some smart-ass irony or meta statement but when you're whole POV isn't grounded in reality, your attempts to skew it just come off unhinged and…

As a child I don't think they could stick a 17-year old with a bill since she's not legally an adult... not sure how it would work just guessing. also, I get medicare and medicaid mixed up. No matter how much I try, they get muddled. But since she's pregnant, likely been getting prenatal care so.... who knows, it's…

Offer to bring her to talk with a dermatologis. My mom did and I'm glad because I'd been popping zits without realizing that that could lead to scarring down the road. You could also use the opportunity to talk about wearing sun screen to prevent premature aging and skin cancer down the line. My dad has really bad…

Even though ambulances are super expensive for those without insurance etc. My thinking is that wouldn't a pregnant teenager likely be covered by medicaid?

Where would one find a shaker of MSG?

That is just such a fabulous saying: it manages to be both witty and deliciously off-putting at the same time. Also, I agree with the rest of your comment

I had a judge give me crap. I was wearing a high necked NICE cashmere sweater, black trouser pants, nice leather flats, and nice jewelry. I chose not to wear a suit because I am young and don't have the money to get a custom fitted suit and I am short, thin, but with really big boobs. This makes it hard for me to wear…

I came here looking for other people like me feeling like this so NO: you are not alone. Shit drives me crazy. I mean over and over, one more little lie, one more cover-up... and then once again. These people are straight up immoral assholes. Nothing but covering up ever gets done and I find Mellie to be the strongest…

Otherwise known as the single stall locking bathrooms in public places and at work. Everybody knows why you seek out these bathrooms... it's essentially a poop box.