I'm seriously still proud, deep down, that Posh was always "my" Spice Girl.

I'll just be over here screaming for 10000000 years over number two.

Funk and Pungency, sounds like an Ohio Players anthology.

I need to take a silkwood shower and then burn the clothes I wore while reading that.

Ummmm bobs definitely are not the safest haircut ever. You really have to have the right face shape. For example, when I was younger and going through my awkward stage, my mother and sister convinced me to cut off my long hair and get a bob. They told me I'd look like Uma Therman in Pulp Fiction (this is around the…

This comment is mystifying.

It will be a cold day in hell before you catch me doing any of those “haggy things.” Funny, though, I was just halfway through a donut (#1) when I decided to eat less fat (#4) so I made a fruit smoothie (#7) with vitamins (#5) but it made me feel nauseous. So I went to the toilet and pulled my ponytail aside (#3) with…

That explains why my heart was ripped and torn into shreds today. Goddamn you, Mercury!

This really makes me feel old, all this rehashing of stuff from 22 years ago. I remember as if it were yesterday, and now it's all new for you kids.

I do not find Mia Farrow's graphic illustration of the destruction of their family due to Woody Allen cheating on her with her teenage daughter to be as shocking as the actual destruction of their family due to Woody Allen cheating on her with her teenage daughter.

She stole all the petty cash!

I'm done with these false alarms- someone call me when we get a scrap of letter where Louisa May Alcott admits she was wrong about Laurie and Amy.

How to I clean my manual spice grinder? The one I use to grind, uh, very sticky spice?

RIGHT? My side tables cost $10 at ikea, I only go into C&B to see what rich people outfit their house with.

Completely beside the point, but holy crap:

I try to treat every electronic communication like it might eventually be made public. Don't hold your breath waiting for a sext from MildredBonk.

When you have cable, you spend a lot of time watching TV indoors on rainy days.

And at 0:55 here's Dick Butkus playing Philly

Every time I listen to Marv Albert call a game I'm reminded of how much he truly bites.

You can't see me through my computer (hopefully), but this tipster is making me do the best I can to make that Nicolas Cage expression from the Vampire's Kiss monologue when he's going full ham on Maria Conchita Alonso.