When facing an unspeakable terror, there really is only one solution.

He stole all the pretty thunder in "Cabin in the Woods." He even stole the pretty thunder from Chris Hemsworth.

Oh my god, where did my panties go?!

Wrong internet. The correct response is "Jesse Williams for ALL THE ROLES."

Of course we would license ourselves to kill an animal before empirically proving its existence. Of course we would.

I think you're right, but from my perspective, a lot of morons (in fact, pretty much only morons) follow Ashton Kutcher on twitter, the very same people who would find this funny and when someone as high-profile as Kutcher is putting this shit out there, he's reaching literally millions of assholes. Then these…

Fiance (who comes from a Punjabi family) will be wearing a sherwani when we get married. He looks especially dashing in one. Honestly, I think they flatter better than tuxes.

Of this. I approve.

Hm. My reserved opinion is that Garfield will probably be better than Maguire, but still not as refreshing as Donald Glover would have been.

I think they should do a really dark musical version of this concept, which would be perfect not only for JGL's persona but also his voice, which ranges from the quirky to the mildly, gravelly dark.

No, but, you know why there are close ties between Britain and India?

I concur with thekeith82.

Mean. But I definitely laughed too loudly to leave this unpromoted.

So far, the list has grown to the following:

To his credit, SRK would throw himself into this like no one else. I don't know if he would be completely successful, but he would damn well give it his all.

Ha! That's funny you mentioned Saif Ali Khan, because the first time I caught wind of them searching for a new Khan, I immediately thought of him, and put him up here. And then I also put out Arjun Rampal (villain in Ra.One) and now SRK is my third choice. I literally put him up there because I was sick of throwing…

This makes it even worse for me, because I, too, worship at the altar of the Cumberbatch, and to put him into that position makes me so angry.

Sometimes, I try not to think about that, because it frustrates me to the point, I'm just like...f*** this.

I think this alternative is more than acceptable, but I wonder if they would risk not being able to cash in on his recognizable persona.

At the risk of repeating myself, I have voiced these same concerns in almost every discussion we've had about the new Star Trek and its supposed villain, and I'm so happy io9 is addressing it and as well as it's done here.