I can’t stop cheering for them now. I’m too far in. What happens if, and I mean, if, in like 50 years, the Lions have some miracle season and make it to the Super Bowl and I abandoned them way back in 2019? I can’t do it! We will have our day!

Cool Dom, thanks for kicking me in the balls first thing on a Monday morning.

“The Lions won the NFL championship three times between 1952 and 1957. Since then, 18 head coaches have guided them into this never-ending pit of despair.”

Is there any team in any other professional sports (MLB, NBA, and the NHL) that sucks as bad, or worse, than the Lions?

“Ian Rapoport says Luck plans to travel the world.”

Fun fact... wait for it... I used to be a hand model and that’s my hand in Zoolander

In a follow-up story, Ariel was convinced the matter was completely closed, and the story had no legs. 

The man was the .gif that keeps on .giffing.

Has Nagy seen the first Ace Ventura? This obsession will not end well..

I sat in a bar, with my pregnant wife, down in Florida watching that game unfold. The nice locals next to us seemed excited for the Bears about to kick the winning field goal. I told them that he was going to miss it. I had no doubts about this and then he hit those fucking poles. Sat there in my Mack jersey, staring…

Like most people, they criticize in others what they secretly despise about themselves, you fat asshole. 

I’m tell you, the only one I feel bad for in all of this is Tom Holland. It’s like a reverse Harry Potter with the guy. He was living it up at Hogwarts having a good time with all his new friends, then he has to go back and live in the Dursley’s glory hole.

You must also admire their Lions-like commitment to wasting careers of players who were regarded as the one of the few very best at their position in the league for a time (Andre Johnson, Arian Foster, Mario Williams, JJ Watt...).

What is it with Indiana and murals?

But it’s Jared Leto! In a comic book movie! What could go wrong?

I’d be down for that Birds of Prey. I think Katie grew tremendously over the course of the series and I’ve gone from, let’s say, ‘not a fan’ to being totally won over.

Lets step back a little and look at the situation in basic terms. An employer has an employee demand a raise and then stop showing up for work when he doesn’t get what he wants. What happens to that employee? I know there’s more nuance to it than that, but his current rookie contract is a result of his Union’s…

“Recently I have noticed a lot of people responding to text messages using the “Thumbs Up” emoji. Every time I receive this as a response to a text message it makes me furious.”

If you’re ever in doubt that he’s a shitheel, just remember, Goose Gossage beaned his own kid. From SI, 9/12/1994:

I know that no one can keep up with the now-infinite content on the Internet but I think this article was done on The Ringer two weeks ago: https://www.theringer.com/tv/2019/8/5/20755378/euphoria-football-game-nonsense-breakdown