I saw a BMW with its turn signal on once.

“I wrote some innocuous thing in 1789 that was just supposed to be about militias and muskets, and now none of these other asshats in heaven will let me live it down.”

FACK YOU PENTAGON HOWAH WE NAWT NUMBAH ONE?! JAWST ONE MOAWHR EXAMPLARWF THA RAWMPEHNT KAHRUPSHUN UNDAH RODJAH GOODELL’S TYREHNUHKAL RAIN!

To paraphrase George Orwell, Knicks fandom is a beaten man, lying facedown on a filthy, cement barroom floor, with someone stamping on the back of his head, interrupted only when the assailant reaches down, grabs the victim by the hair, and raises his head up ever so slightly before slamming it face first back into…

12" Man

Am I a bad person for replaying that punch, like... ten times?

The S5 Cabrio was kind of an early example of the engine downsizing that's so common today. The old S4 sedan and convertible — as well as the first S5s — had a beefy naturally aspirated 4.2-liter V8. But the S5 was the first to go to a 3.0-liter supercharged V6 that puts out 333 horsepower and 325 pound-feet of…

RIP

I wonder if Hilary Duff knew she would be loosing one of her arms during this shoot.

"Pfft. Amateur"

I'm all about that base, 'bout' that base, no trouble.

Sexual assault is horrific and inhumane.

Poor fool. No matter how much pumpkin he puts in, when the clock strikes midnight, it's just going to turn back into a bowl of hot diarrhea.

Rolled Miss.

You're kind of a terrible person for using tenderloins for pulled pork, but I understand why you do it. Maybe consider using well-trimmed thick-cut chops instead, or half/half? Also, if you like a bit of crispiness in your pulled pork, I'd recommend a quick sear *after* the pork is done in the crock, before you pull…

NBA: This is too sexy

Ahem.