It’s comforting by the tiniest of margins in today’s endless sea of discomfort that he probably has no idea who Charles Lindbergh is...

A star for you, sir.

Wait... what’s the bronzer for?

Whaaaaa?

Do you know why they wear jewelry?

I have had a serious increase in anxiety. Have managed to keep off the Ativan, but the number of nights I spend lying awake freaking out is starting to interfere with life.

It is not an infant. It is not a fetus. It is more like a tumor than a person. But nobody gets upset when I want my colon polyps removed before they grow in to full on cancer.

Yeah, you’re on to something - I’d definitely pass on the diamonds. I have cats, I know what a cat turd shoe looks like.

If she’s due in March, I’m six months pregnant with the enchiladas I made for dinner.

This would totally be me. I’m constantly noticing and mentally taking note of stuff, I can barely force myself to meditate for five minutes.

Can’t wait, best of luck with the cluster fuck of DC traffic!

The right is having control over what happens to your body first and foremost.

Bingo. I have a friend that is anti-choice. I genuinely want to speak to her and understand where she is coming from. Unfortunately it always ends the same way:

The Canadian girl guides also had a God reference when I was a kid, but I think it has since been removed. A younger or more involved lady might be able to confirm.

It also means that he will have to pay mad legal costs if she wins, no matter what. If you make an offer to settle that the other side rejects, then do better at trial, they pay your costs from the date of the offer.

Nope, Horrifying. It would mean Pence becomes President

Bump it.

I remember hearing its hell for his non-friends staffing the various aspects of movie-making. He decides to play some basketball with David Spade, everyone else gets to sit around waiting for them to decide to come back to filming a shitty movie.

Those documentaries about Nazis were tremendous, simply amazing. The best movies.

Can you yell that a little louder? I don’t think the deplorables heard you :(