I wish I was kidding when I say I want Martha to destroy all of my dreams but I am not even a little bit kidding.

Fucks given by that cat: Zero

Have you guys ever seen a hippo go poop? It is the funniest thing in the world.

Come sit next to me.

Most important movie of my teenage life.

Princess Bride? I can’t stand it.

There’s a lot of leaning.

Fair enough!

Say whatever you want, Diana, but I did notice my husband was suddenly A LOT more interested in Outlander than he ever was before.

I was Jewish before it was cool!

Naomi Watts was my Best Dressed of the night

Golf clap to Oliva Munn for letting us in on her “secrets.” I loathe it when celebs give bullshit responses. She’s all, “Thanks for thinking I look great! Here’s what I do...”

Where can I protest the idea of Jamie Foxx being one of the best actors in the world?

Right Boob is the new Left Shark.

My MIL says, “Yes!”

I need Ms. McLaurin to come to my house!

I’ll prepare it for you, no problem. Mango is delicious.

How do you not like mango?!

The fuck is going on in that picture though??

Yes!