“Will someone please settle this? In a Rolls Royce Corniche, the bar opens from left to right, not right to left, doesn’t it?”

“we’re too busy obsessing over the Kardashians or something)”

I'm sorry no one has ever told you you have beautiful eyes.

This thing you don't need is affordable, so why not buy it and never use it?

This thing you don't need is affordable, so why not buy it and never use it?

Worst. Comedian. EVER.

Still prefer George Carlin’s explanation. (Skip to 4:50)

RIGHT?? Anyone who would impersonate someone else online as a gag is TOTALLY A FUCKING SLIMY CLICKBAIT DICKHEAD and the “Gawker Media legal team” should, like, TOTALLY look into it.

Robert Patrick, original T-1000, wasn't on a single official poster. The end.

You should feel the same sense of accomplishment Stan and Kyle felt when they finally reached one million points on Guitar Hero.

6. I understand Vanilla Ice is an easy target to include on lists of failed anythings, but in what bizarro world is “Cool As Ice” an action film?

How is this list impossible to take seriously? Let me count the ways...

“Walking down the street with an Apple Watch right up to my face is just asking for it to get punched”

When did you guys hire Matt Drudge to manage the Gawker feed? #classy

Gurl, you so two thousand and late.

If by “entertaining,” you mean “inferior and unnecessary.”

I’m guessing, as a Jedi, he learned pretty quickly that cyborg hands don’t hold up in combat nearly as well.

RIGHT!?! Just like I’m still waiting for someone to explain to me why this 30 year old Apple computer doesn’t look exactly like an iMac? I mean, WTF?!?!1?! GIVE ME A GOOD REASON.

4. Don’t feed Grandma after midnight.

And the rest is history...

Seriously, honey. Natural beauties don’t need to apply makeup with a trowel. (Another Palin similarity.)