DOC: Do you know where you are?

This is like your girlfriend telling you that she's a virgin, except for that one time with that guy from Australia, oh and also the other night with some guy from the West Coast, but they don't count since she didn't "really care" about those times.

[pulls out instructions for Jenga]

Then, the woman on the right yelled Yahtzee and the other woman had to go to jail without passing go or drawing four, and the color is blue.

I don't know what the worst part of this story is. I think it's that someone would marry you.

Francona: Hey, Wood. You ever make a team while on the mound before?

Same thing happened to Kerry Wood last night at a Denny's waiter station

I don't understand what this is supposed to mean beyond cheap race-baiting, but OK.

the minus is due to the fact that the paper was supposed to be about the Outkast song.

And to think, if Gordon Bombay had just done this on the first shot, Wolf Stansson would have never had the chance to slash his injured knee... such a pity

Update: The Mets are sorry.

The smart man doesn't provoke the idiot. Once he does, he becomes the bigger idiot.

It also illustrates the fact that no one gives a shit.

You're both still in Ohio. So just be quiet and play nice!

The child was even more disappointed when he realized it was the worst boomerang he had ever seen.

A Cry in the Park

Soccer player cuts face, gets medical treatment.
Hockey player get subdural hematoma, says "Put me back in Santa"

Corey "Bewildered Devils lady" Schneider.

As an IU fan and alum, I support this decision. Not out of any sense of historical superiority, but mostly because it means I don't ever have to watch this team again.