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When you read, do you just stick your face against the computer screen and mush all the words together with your eyes, or what

Mathis went on to say, “everybody knows that donkeysauce is just mayo and bbq sauce and that shit is never going to get you a ticket to Flavortown.”

Nala - “I’m too sexy for this car, too sexy for this car.”

I hoped to present a more fully-rounded portrait of Mr. Holtzclaw than had appeared in the press. I hoped to explore the question of what had happened to this once-promising young man.

Note: Jesus Quincy Adams is Ted Cruz’s favorite Founding Father.

Passengers on the Aaron Hernandez cruise, however, did not have nearly as much fun.

It’s like Alien vs. Predator but Legionnaire’s vs. Gonnorhea.

Fred Smoot was reportedly unimpressed.

Globe story reveals that more than two thirds of people on board had no idea it was a Gronk cruise until they showed up

That’s a start, Alexi. Now apologize for your solo music career, and we can move past this.

Kung Fu Panda Express

More like the Kung Pao Panda

I’m in favor of #whitegenocide.

Pending an improbable exoneration from the internal peer review, everything [Arnold] had worked for is now gone, likely never to be recovered, ever again. Recovery, if there is any, appears to be something deserved only by the Twitter critics of a freelancer whose future writing career will apparently be, like the way…

You are incorrect. Federal sentencing guidelines are guidelines—they are not mandatory. They offer guidance as to what may be too lenient or too harsh (and in actuality provide trial judges cover to impose sentences, but that’s another issue entirely), but a judge is not required to sentence in accordance with the…

You can’t cheer for appropriate mandatory minimums while thinking some are way out of line? That makes no sense douche nugget.

#ImWithHer

Talk about a case of the boy that cried lobo...

Count the motherfucking clauses in that sentence. Forget the horrifying shit show that was the topic, any editor who let that damn clusterfuck out the door should be fired on the spot for that alone.