That’s exactly what Rex Ryan said when the Bills put an HC contract in front of him.

*goes home to bang girlfriend*

Matthews: You ain’t Russell Wilson, bro!

Kelly: That tears it, I’m trading Murray to the Jaguars for a conditional 12th round pick.

YOU DEFINITELY WATCH FOX NEWS, DON’T YOU?

The real question is have Seahawk fans ever heard of this guy?

He’s just building retirement on Hurt Locker and Bad Luck

HUGE props for the Wire reference. Laughed louder than a person has a right to

Why question something when it feels so good?

I imagine because Baylor and TCU are currently paying better.

When I said get a fall guy, I didn’t mean your own mother!

I knew it! Robert Caro IS a Deadspin commenter.

Maybe this is just the version of Andrew Luck with cable.

Roger Goodell: [takes credit]

Jason Pierre Paul had a small hand in it.

Andy Reid: [raises hand] Are we not counting the cardiac variety?

Pacman Jones: Fuck yeah, motherfucker! Let’s celebrate!

In a situation like this, there are no PAT answers.

More like a Scobee-don’t amiright?

I’ll see myself out.

Poor Josh. He’ll feel a lot better after having some Scobee snacks.