It depends: what sort of things do you normally do to make other people uncomfortable while sitting on the crapper?

Jackson is just working on how to word things:

On the one hand, while I don’t care for most modern pop music (or at least whatever qualifies as “popular” these days), I think it’s dumb to have dumb aging rock stars do these things (like wheeling out the two remaining members of The Who in their wheelchairs a few years back); on the other hand, big-event-halftime…

Shit on Sting all you like (truly he deserves it, in so many ways, for so many reasons) but leave the fucking Police alone!

RE: Aussie Rules Grand Final Halftime Sprint (good god that’s a mouthful) - WTF, do they not have high definition in Australia? What kind of cretins expect me to watch something in 480p?? BARBARISM!

Much visor.

I am sorely disappointed at the lack of masturbation jokes in here.

That is basically my dream life. Hell, it’s the American Dream!

Are we just going to dance around the fact that this looks like a creepy-ass 1980's animatronic face? That’s a lot of money to spend just to prove you have terrible taste.

PROGRESS!

Well, she’s already got a foot up on the competition.

Thanks. Now Kevin Cronin’s mullet is going to haunt my nightmares.

Japanese apologies: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

If the ghouls of Reddit are to be believed, those are student managers - who presumably are running to locker rooms to exorcise the ghost of Dean Smith. He’d leave, but he can’t remember where he parked his car.

So drinking, then?

The good news is that it involves UFC, so literally nobody (save for Wylie himself) gives a flying fuck anyway.

I don’t even really care that much about the NFL, but I love dumpster fires, and this is going to be a dumpster volcano. Can’t wait!

Ahh, how the phrase “hand-built automotive quality” changes when you add “British” in front of it...

“... we don’t need no water let the motherfucker burn...”

I’ve found your new phone wallpaper: