[Over the PA]

RT @Ravens The child deeply regrets his role in the incident.

"Shit, Roger. You don't feed them."

Update: Mike Tyson Elected Mayor of Toronto

It's the year 2014 and TMZ has more credibility than the NFL. Well done Roger.

Malaysia Air Bucket List:

Porter just didn't know how to properly control the team. Now Lawless, that sounds like a guy who can set some rules and give these guys structure.

<Charlie Weis examines chart>

Lewin is a fantastic play by play man. He rescues Bauer at least 3x per game, it's always painful to hear him going off the rails. Not a Chargers fan, but I'll listen to those games wire-to-wire for Lewin.

Police Officer: Hello Mr. Allen, I'm calling to tell you that a truck registered in your name was found burned this morning.

I'm cuttin a fucking spot Tony! SHIT

True, but he did have a lot of trouble with "I'm Floyd Mayweather"

Mark Sanchez sympathizes, as he knows what it's like struggling to read.

Fourth comment down on the left column

Who knew Donald Sterling was so good at setting up Gmail accounts?

Man, it's really disgusting to see a system where ordinary Americans each give a small amount of money to an authority figure with a history of killing people whose skin color just happens to be a darker shade than white, but, on the other hand, the U.S. Army isn't funding itself.

The Rockies are 49-76. She isn't missing much.

The cop was later asked to write an essay on exemplary policing for the Washington Post.