Nobody wants to take a chance on an airplane 30,000ft in the sky full of hundreds of people who stand no chance if there’s a fire. That’s why airlines are cautious almost to the point of insanity. I don’t blame them, really. And my initial point was not a judgment on whether or not banning this luggage was a rational…

I have a very finely tuned auditory memory (great if you’re a musician) and I do this all the time. As soon as I hear myself say it, it’s almost like I recorded it onto tape. Good technique to use if you have to, for instance, remember a license plate fast.

Yeah you can imagine one of these smart luggage manufacturers going on the Shark Tank and being turned down because of the likelihood of being banned by the airlines. I’m amazed anyone invested in this technology, but then again you know how carried away some of these tech entrepreneurs get.

Just don’t do it too often or you will end up with a stretched butt hole and you’ll be wearing a tampon in your anus to stop the fecal leakage.

Right now my favorite veggie meat substitute is vital wheat gluten. Crazy amounts of protein (although you’d probably have to mix with another protein to get a full amino profile) and tastes incredibly full and meaty. I get these sausages from Whole Foods and I’ve been addicted to them for a couple of years.

Yes that is an essential question. If you move into an apartment with radiators that are always on, you will regret it because of the excessive dry heat. Some buildings have such old ass heating systems that they actually prohibit turning off individual radiators because it interferes with the flow of hot water…

People who keep monkeys might get the idea to feed onion to them. I’m here to tell you that it’s a bad idea.

While we’re on the subject of onions might I also take this opportunity to remind everyone that you should never feed onions to a monkey. It makes them anemic.

I have old ass NYC tenement radiators and until I finally had them shut off permanently they were so hot I used to run my AC in the winter. Opening the windows didn’t even do the trick. I once asked my landlord if it was possible to just have the building thermostat adjusted so that it wasn’t so hot. He told me that…

“fecal incontinence” - MY GOD is it worth it? Yuck! 

I don’t know, I’m pretty anxious about my GF walking in when I’m pounding my Fleshlight.

Re: running. Try backwards running/walking. It’s so out of the ordinary that it generates new brain cells. I do it on the treadmill at the gym. You have to start slowly and be careful, but it’s actually great exercise and I feel like my brain has had a workout too.

I don’t know why but old, squat Jewish guys seem to have the largest penises. They’re hung like shire horses. There’s a gym observation for you right there.

I used to love knee scabs when I was a kid and would pick and eat them. Yum yum. I also loved to lick my non-scabbed knees to get that salty taste.

They’re coders, they can do what they want. If they wanted to add a line of code which said something like “If phone model = iPhone 6 or older, pause for 1 second when opening apps” then they sure as hell could.

I’ll tell you another aspect of Facebook I also find creepy is the connections it makes between people. If you so much as look at a random person’s profile, Facebook will then connect the two of you in its mind and you will probably turn up in that person’s “People You Might Know” list. It means there is no such thing…

I don’t even bother with the official Facebook app and haven’t for years. I cannot tolerate the fact that they keep switching your “Most Recent” newsfeed setting to “Top Stories” without asking. I find it so obnoxious, rude and annoying. So I switched to Friendly for Facebook on the iPhone. It theoretically keeps the…

It’s funny but when I was a kid I used to worry that when I started having sex I would come straight away. I thought wow, as soon as my dick goes in that vagina it’s gonna be sooooo exciting I won’t be able to control it. Little did I know I would end up having the exact opposite problem.

Well it happens to me, and I don’t have either of those problems - I always start the day on a fresh reboot, and I would say there are maybe 5 or 6 apps that I use daily. Also I’ve never even gotten to the point where I’ve used half of my 64MB storage, but then again I don’t store videos or music on my phone.

OT: Does Zuckerberg have a 100' x 100' walk-in closet full of those grey t-shirts? I can’t imagine that he doesn’t.