As a lawyer, it’s insulting that that’s how you think class actions work. Such a lopsided payout would never happen. The lawyers would get 73 million, and the plaintiffs would get $9.95 off of their next pay-per-view.

Not Pictured: 2014-15 MIA NBA Most Valuable Player Derrick Rose

I really would have appreciated it if after he said, “That’s a great question” he just said “...next question?”

Leave it to a guy working for MSG to be all salty with his voting.

And at that point, Drew Magary wrote in his notebooks, “game over” and verily did the journalism gods look down and smile.

Who’s disgusting chin is this?

“You’re not that fucking good, Alex.”

THE KING IN THE NORTH NEVER SAT ON THE IRON THRONE GOD PAUL WHERE IS YOUR SENSE OF CONTINUITY

UEFA Match Against Poverty?

Yes.

I meant North America’s favorite sports. Sorry for the confusion.

America’s favorite sports:

ANOTHER white person fucking up by wearing black face? How aboriginal.

Look, it’s like they always say - you can’t have your birthday cake and jump out of it in an Easter bunny costume wearing a lace-thong, basketball sneakers, and Chanel #16 ‘sandal’, without getting skin treatment for contact flour dermatitis, footing a hefty dry-cleaning bill for the whole lot of it, just to realize…

Valar moredrinkis.

There’s always “That guy” isn’t there? And you’re “That guy” that has “Amazing Awanus.”

“This one’s worth appreciating if just for how unsexy it’s been.”

“No tiger? Dumbass!” was also how my adapted screenplay of The Life of Pi got rejected.

It is understandable to wonder “who cares?” at this point, as the NCAA obviously isn’t going to order a replay of the final three minutes of the game or anything like that.

I bow to peer pressure easily.