I'm pretty sure I casually whip out "you gotta pay the troll toll to get into this boy's hole" on a regular basis so this is basically the greatest part of my week right here. Also, we haven't addressed the exquisitely accurate picture of Peter Griffin behind them.

I see Zooey Deschanel and I want bangs and have to remind myself that it will be a pain in the ass to grow out if I hate it.

Ever since I read that Rielle Hunter was actually Allison Poole, I have imagined her modern day life as involving a McMansion with horrible wall stencils!

Was prepared to be mad, not so mad now. Thanks for getting it, bro.

Ah, yes, the libertarian dodge; why is the state involved with marriage at all?!?!!1!

It doesn't address the actual question, of course, which is "as long as the state supplies benefits for this status, why does this status not apply equally?"

In my house it's exactly like that but I tell LoniManderson that true love is just 300 bottles of Vodka away. He keeps rambling on about how if that's true then I must have reached some ecstatic, joyous higher plane of Nirvana-like love, but I don't really understand ever what he is talking about because I'm usually…

Black women: This is one less dumbass man we have to deal with! He's doing us a HUGE favor! *victory dance*

I want to hear from Miley's Dancers goddamit. That is one thing that irks me about this conversation. They are talked about as if they don't have an opinion on any of this hype. Can any jezzies link to some feedback from Miley's black 'homies' about all of this?

One might make the argument that the more important thing all those people have in common is not that they're black—it's that they're really fucking famous. Far be it from me to dictate anyone else's identity to them, but I really feel like once you pass a certain point of public acclaim and notoriety, you lose some…

"..he went with her as she got the words "ROLLING $TONE" tattoed on her feet; they ate sushi together; they went skydiving"

""I'm from one of the wealthiest counties in America," she says. "I know what I am. But I also know what I like to listen to. Look at any 20-year-old white girl right now – that's what they're listening to at the club. It's 2013. The gays are getting married, we're all collaborating. I would never think about the…

Just heading them off at the pass.

heh, I am halfway looking forward to stories about students infecting themselves with yeast now

Oh that familiar unidentifiable club-floor grime that is always on the asses of girls who fall down drunk... what are you, why are you shaming us?!

And I weep that you do not call this the Marley defense.

If I just let my Id run free, I would be Kanye. Admit it, a whole lot of you would be to.

I'm allergic to this color palette. It's like Goth Dunkin Donuts.

X platform is better than Y platform because X is better at fulfilling my idiosyncratic needs, which I have stupidly generalized as being everyone's needs!

Step #0: Start life "well off", preferably to parents without financial concerns or constrains to begin with.

If you are in a position to follow this advice, it is very likely that you are not having financial difficulties.