Wow, aren’t you a judgmental cunt :/

“Usually, I run around threatening and screaming at everyone, because I have a gun in my pocket and it gives me the courage I don’t naturally possess. But this day, this man stood up to me. Well, that really scared me, so instead of backing away from his family that I was just threatening, I whipped out my courage and…

*Sees price

Getting your ass kicked by Mike Ness, apparently.

Hi

Five is right out.

Anyone else read “Korean BBQs?”

“Let me fuck with these Black folks for no reason .”

One time, my parents were visiting, and my dad made a comment about not ever going to Starbucks, because of the cups. They’re getting weird in their old age. They don’t even go to church, I’m not sure why he picked this hill to die on. 

“ the biases and prejudices of the time.”

Doug’s previous job was loading Honda Civics into the back of UHaul trucks.

Blow it out of your ass.

“please don’t start by saying how cute or pretty they are!”

THIS. Especially girls. And please don’t comment on how cute their clothes are. Ask kids about school, what they learned, etc. Kids (especially girls) need to know they’re valued for more than just being cute and pretty.

And stop it with the…

“Previous attempts at having the road’s 40 mph speed limit lowered have failed.

Visit 1 - What area has a Chipotle and doesn’t have other options? And while you’re standing in line coddling your shitkids for 20+ minutes you would have noticed no one leaving with burritos.

Nextdoor is where all the fears of stay at home parents and retired people fester and grow from molehills to mountains. Too often I am the “combative” person who has to say “No, don’t call the police because somebody rang your doorbell and knocked on the door. They have better things to do and you may create a boy who…

Sounds like maybe you should go buy a hosting package & domain then.

I was expecting a higher caliber of puns regarding this caravan of Rams charging out of the factory on their journey to a new life. Hopefully another intrepid challenger will avenge this lack of punniness.

don’t worry, mexico will pay for it.

Oh wait wait’s that? You’re completely and objectively wrong?