Something about beautiful people who I know have been through terrible shit just makes me so sad. I'm not saying their appearance affects how sad it is, there's just something uniquely sad about the juxtaposition, if that makes any sense. It's a flowers-growing-on-the-side-of-the-road type thing.

You know, not that dudes don't have it better growing up in every conceivable way, but imagine how terrifying and confusing it must be to be raised by someone like this. Girls are gross and slutty so you can't go near them, but you can't touch yourself either, so you'll just have to suppress your…

Telling teenage boys jerking off makes them gay is probably literally the only way you could get them to stop.

What is the sound of your one remaining hand clapping?

Wait, you mean Southern Democrats like George Wallace, whose presidential campaign was based around the idea that Nixon and Humphrey were both equally gay for hippies, weren't arch-liberals? You must be stoopid or sumpin'.

In Santorum's defense, he had no idea who Mandela even was, he could just tell based on what O'Reilly said that he was a good guy.

Oy. I didn't hate the first one, but the "IZ A SEQUEL, SO MOAR VILLAINS" strategy very rarely pans out. I'd just like it if we could get the best of both worlds, where teenagers weren't being played by people who looked 35 AND Peter wasn't an asshole.

Noel Gallagher HATES when people try to start shit just to get attention.

I always laugh when the men of GoT do something else and have to keep the same hair/facial hair, regardless of how anachronistic it is. Every ad I saw for "Mama," I kept thinking "That's just Jaime Lannister in a sweater."

I mean, the Zimmerman trial taught us smoking weed three days ago makes you the Hulk, so imagine how much danger Saaaaaaatchi was in if she was doing coke.

Yeah, but it does a good job of sounding like what it is.

Pretty sure this just means "Would not fuck, thumbs down."

[digs around for collage of "Heath Ledger will make a terrible Joker" posts]

Sooooo between the pants-shitting terror of the color pink giving them cooties and the weird-even-for-conservatives obsession with defending guns' unimpeachable awesomeness, are we sure these people aren't seven-year-olds who have that "Jack" disease?

On the one hand, the ancient Greeks gave us the concept of democracy; on the other hand they gave us this trope.

I mean, he was never in the top tier of actors, but isn't the world objectively poorer for losing a good man than a great actor?

a) Discomfort on public transit is not "suffering," ya baby.

"be fat all you want i don't give a shit, except I do and I hate you. Is just [sic] the truth."

I already have the wee Daenerys on my desk, right below the picture of my wife, which seems vaguely redundant.

Just one mash potatoes? That's not that bad.